WELCOME TO MY LEARNING PORTFOLIO. I GO TO BURNHAM SCHOOL - TE KURA O TIORI AND AM IN ROOM 5. THIS PORTFOLIO SHOWS SOME OF THE WORK I AM MOST PROUD OF. PLEASE JOIN MY JOURNEY AND PROVIDE ME WITH POSITIVE FEEDBACK.
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Tsunami attack
As Dora and I were relaxing on the beach we started to hear a flushing sound just like the toilet. It went on for quite a while so I screamed out Tsunami !!!! I knew it was coming because Dora and I studied Tsunamis at school. It was so terrifying and scary but Dora and I kept warning people to run because this was just the start of a Tsunami.
Everybody started panicing and packed up some warm clothes and food, then Started running for there life. After we warned everybody Dora and I packed up some survival gear and some food and hopped into our car and started to drive away from this terrible place.
The wave started catching up to us and if I went any faster the engine would of blew up. I told Dora that we were going as fast as possible and the Tsunami was right behind us. She couldn't think of anything so I said we've got no choice just to let it catch us but Dora said we'll die if it caught us but we had no other choice so I let it catch us.
We didn't die we just started floating around but the windows were about to break. The glass smashed and it knocked Dora out so it was up to me too try save us. I unclicked my seat belt and swam over to Dora and started un clicking her seat belt. I unclicked her seat belt after a tough fight. I almost ran out of breath so I let Dora go and swam up to get some fresh air and funny enough the Tsunami had stopped. I swam back to Dora grabbed her and swam up to fresh air. I took her up to the nearest flat surface . I Hoped to death that she would wake up sooner or later. She finally woke up and asked we're was she and I told her that she got knocked out.
I woke up and just realised that the whole thing was just a dream, so I asked mum to go over to Dora's and sure enough she said yes.
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I liked the way you used a lot of detail and you have remembered to use paragraphs in the right places. I think your writing would be stronger if u added some complex sentences to make it more interesting but overall it's a great story!
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